Black Friday..... Sounds ominous, if I didn't know any better. I may use this as a sound board for reflections of a conscious consumer. I may use this as a venting sesh for my post-thanksgiving digestion woes (I'm convinced my appendix has burst).
Alas, here I am, feeling gratitude for the overwhelming love of family, far and near, forgetting (best I can) about mystery abdomen pain.
Family is something special. Comfort and discomfort all in one place. Every interaction is an opportunity to heal and love. And yet I numb myself to the stirring inside. The delight of healing and growth is smothered by fear and loathing.
So much to be grateful for, the basics are abundant with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
Oh the whipped cream! Why did I eat it?! Bloating, gas, constipation, still...
Grateful for a body. Even one that feels so different outside than in. Skinny, strong, glowing, healthy, smiling, juxtaposed to binge eating, drinking alcohol, lethargy, negative self talk. Seemingly opposite and yet both exist at once.
Grateful for the joyful moments of sharing my life with family. When catching up, laughing and sharing takes precedent over grudges and bygones.
Now, without distraction, the familiar sights, sounds, smells, of ancestral patterns cause me to reflect. What is important to me? Where are my priorities?
Hiding in fear of darkness and the unknown or embracing the wholeness of life?
HERE I AM. I AM. I AM.
The time spent with family yesterday reminds me that the support and love all around me is a true reflection of what I am. I don't have a family. I am family. I don't have a body, I am a body. Every part of me is reflected in the world around me.
I am open to all parts, so that no part of me is banished to darkness, but can come home to rest.
Am I afraid? Hell yes. Jesus advised, do not be afraid and give your suffering to God. So I listen!
In darkness and in light, changing ancestral patterns. I am open to change. Could it be a Thanksgiving miracle?
Peace and Love,