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Letting go


Montauk Point 2017

Lets start with the physical. For me, the blessing of a physical yoga practice, asanas, is the magic carpet ride departure from the anxious, stressed, self-critical inner dialogue. On the exterior, I'm calm, cool, collected, but inside - storms pass through daily.

I don't know if this is normal. I don't usually stop to ask, "Are you freaking out too?" I'm trying to maintain my cool here.

Physically, my body is sending me memos, first a sweet note,

"Hey Rosie, you've got some bloating, maybe just have a few cookies next time" or "Rosie, try getting up a few times a day, sitting all day is causing some pain." Usually I respond with a "NOTE TAKEN" and disregard. Why inconvenience my immediate want and desire?

Then the messages get more assertive, "HEY, we are seriously constipated, stop overeating." or "That burning down your butt cheek, leg and foot, maybe the sciatica nerve, we don't like that, make it stop."

And finally, aggressive, "WE ARE CONSTIPATED and IN PAIN." or "STAND UP OR WE WILL CRY!"

These are just two of the more humorous examples of me not listening to physical signs my body sends. Information about my well being and the well being of those around me often go unnoticed by my consciousness, subverted to the subconscious, available to me when I'm good and ready.

Well, I'm tired of not taking the gentle cues. I am ready to let go of the part of me that disregards that guiding internal sense. I am ready to let go of the habit of staying safe in isolation and silence.

I am open to receive love to all parts of myself.

I am ready to speak my truth with love. My voice matters.

I am willing to see all parts of myself and invite all parts of myself to "come home". No longer do I banish a part of you to the darkness.

And so I've found this strange disconnect. If I invite all parts of me to come home, but some parts disregard other parts... chaos?

That part of me knows what to do. I need only listen.

That part of me knows what to do. I need only listen.

That part of me knows what to do. I need only listen.

When I don't listen - I judge myself. "I should really do something about that, take care of yourself, practice what your preach."

When I do listen - I judge myself. "You only live once! Whats the big deal?, "You have work to do, you can take care of yourself later".

Oof, this is not an easy thing for me to let go. But I challenge myself and I accept the challenge. I will celebrate the small successes, strive for perfection and learn from mistakes.

I am strong and resourceful. I will triumph!

Haha, sounds good right? Perhaps you can relate. What are you looking to let go of? I invite you to make a list of the tendencies, habits, people, places and/or things that you are ready to let go of. Write it down, then shred it, burn it, whatever, to physically let it go.

Wish me luck and Good Luck!

Peace and Love, Rosie